How one runner coped with panic attacks while training – Canadian Running Magazine

Runners know that if their shins are hurting, they should make an appointment with a healthcare professional and probably take a break. But when it comes to the brain, the same approach isn’t always taken. Nicole Bush is a former American steeplechase champion and NCAA All-American who competed for the Michigan State Spartans. In an Instagram post on Wednesday, Bush shared her experience with running through mental health concerns.

“To all the people whose training keeps getting interrupted by things that aren’t obvious physical injuries, you’re not alone,” she wrote. “Last summer/fall I was trying to manage repeating panic attacks. If you’re unfortunately familiar with panic attacks, you how know this can screw with your body, your training and your mental health.”

View this post on Instagram

To all the people whose training keeps getting interrupted by things that aren’t obvious physical injuries, you’re not alone. – Last summer/fall I was trying to manage repeating panic attacks. If you’re unfortunately familiar with panic attacks, you how know this can screw with your body, your training and your mental health. – Currently my training being interrupted by the hypertension (wtf) I’m trying to manage. Which is worrisome because I’m constantly reminded that I’m “too young” to have it. – It makes running harder, especially if I’m worried. It also doesn’t help that hypertension (in addition to dehydration, exhaustion, etc. from taking and editing photos at the Trials all day) was something that landed me in the ER after I fainted on the flight back from ATL last Sunday. (Yeah, they did the whole, “is there a doctor on the plane” thing.) – SO, if you’re frustrated that your training isn’t going and progressing smoothly—because life has its way of interfering—you’re not the only one. – Throwback photo probably by @sarahkbrewer at Lake Lansing. – #strongwomen #momentum #progress #slogmyjog #running #mentalhealth #runningmotivation #runnergirl #runnersofinstagram #runnerpeople #runningblogger #mentalhealthawareness #teammatesforlife #trackandfield #track #visualsoflife #churchofthesundaylongrun #runnersofinstagram #runner #runningphotography #longrun #runningphotos #fitness #trailrunning #trailrunner #trail #periodproblems #periodsbelike @boulder_underground

A post shared by Nicole Bush (@nicolebbush) on Mar 10, 2020 at 9:54am PDT

Bush says she had a hard time managing her panic attacks while training, because she would downplay how she felt.

“I would invalidate myself and the runner mentality of ‘push through’ would kick in,” she says. A panic attack is described as an intense wave of fear characterized by its unexpectedness and debilitating, immobilizing intensity. Her symptoms came to a head when she had five attacks over the course of one week.

“I knew, eventually, that pushing through these panic attacks wasn’t sustainable or functional. I decided I wanted to go to the crisis centre in Boulder, and from there, I got into a health system that was set up for this exact thing. I had seen a doctor in the past who gave me medication to take as needed, which wasn’t preventative. When I started seeing a psychiatrist through the centre, I got on a steadier program.”

Bush was a professional runner for seven years before she took time away from the sport in 2016 to recover from burnout. She describes adopting the mentality of pushing through the anxiety, while completing multiple hard workouts a week.

“I would do a workout on Friday, have a panic attack at night and try and long run on Saturday morning. It was like I was doing three workouts in a row, which wasn’t fair to my body. A panic attack really is a full body experience.”

Bush’s advice for runners

Bush says that once she started to give her symptoms the attention they deserved, things started to get better.

“When you’re honest about the experience you’re having, things improve. The other things runners need to remember is that they’re not alone or weak. You’re not weak for being unable to train through it, and you’re not weak for taking a break. Don’t force training if you’re not doing well–take care of yourself first.”

Going forward, Bush doesn’t feel quite ready to race yet, but she’s intrigued by the trail scene.

“I’m trying to get back into it, but I’ve dealt with a few physical injuries. I’m really open to road and trail racing, but I’m getting particularly into the trail stuff.”